READING
How many times have you felt angry whit your self because you were too
shy to speak up when you really wanted to have to conversation whit others
person ? Are parties times for standing in the corner and watching others
chat and dance - afraid to join them ? Do you listen to discussions but do
not give your opinions because you think you are not smart enough ? Do
you WIsh you be friendly but don't know how? All these thoughts lead to
unhappy feelings.
This kind of unhappiness comes about not because other people are
trying to hurt us. We make this unhappiness for ourselves . Naturally we
really don't to hurt ourselves, but often we group up thinking we are not as
good as others- we are inferior; everyone is better, smarter, and more
interesting. These negative thoughts make us shy . Why do we do this to
ourselves? Only a psychologist can discover the reasons . It is interesting to
note that very large numbers of people are shy. There is , however good
news . If we want to get rid of shyness , it can be done.
We can help ourselves be rid of shyness. Nobody is perfect and
everybody has good qualities. Is it fair to pay attention to our imperfections
and overlook our good qualities ? Definitely not! The following suggestions
may be helpful in reducing shyness:
1. First, understand that you cannot eliminate shyness overnight. It is a
slow process that you must work in gradually .
2. Think about situations when being shy is most painful. Perhaps your
biggest problem is making small talk with a stranger at a party . In that
case , prepare yourself whit some interesting current news to talk about
The weather is a topic often used for starting conversations.
3. Getting the other person to talk about himself/ herself is a clever idea.
Many people enjoy talking about themselves - or giving their opinions.
For example, you can say something like, "I notice you like modern
jewelry; your rings are very unusual. Did you design them yourself?"
This can be the start of a friendship.
4. Whenever you begin making negative comparisons between yourself
and others , force yourself to stop doing that immediately . Take your
thoughts of yourself. Observe others and think of a compliment with
which to start a conversation with someone.
5. If you are shy at work where there are many coworkers, choose the
least intimidating person to the perhaps have coffee with or make casual small talk with.
6. Knows that if in effort to socialize sometimes is unsuccessful, it
happens to everyone now and then. Feel proud of yourself for making the
effort.
7. If you are required to give a report to a group, tell them that you feel
nervous. This feeling is quite natural , and everyone can sympathize.
Expressing that the group will make you feel better.
8. Think about your good qualities and believe that you are as good as
anyone else .... Because you are!
9. Take a course in developing self- confidence or read books on the
subject.
Life is much more enjoyable for people who are not shy.
Exercise 1
1. Is it difficult for you to ask strangers for the directions or information ?
Answer : No, because if we need some information or direction, we don’t be shy to ask strangers the information or direction.
2. Do you let others make decision for you because you are afraid to speak up ?
Answer : No, we must be brave to speak up for our self.
3. When you are with people who talk with others easily , do you wish you were able to do that ?
Answer : Yes, we wish we were able to do that. Because, we can get a motivation and try to walk with other easly.
4. In what situations do you feel Shy and uncomfortable ?
Answer : we feel shy and uncomfortable if we do something wrong and we are in distressed situations.
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